Standing in the Delhi metro I always think, Delhi keeps me on my toes all the time, literally and figuratively.
When I came to Delhi 9 years ago, I used to think she was like a cat. Shrewd, wily, mean. Always trying to get her own way, not caring about people that dwelled in her. But Delhi had a different face too, like a cat does. She welcomed me and then threw shit at me, scorned at me and then loved me, sometimes even groped and touched me at wrong places and then hugged me. And just when I thought that I am done with city and I need to be in a new city, she gave me more reasons to fall in love with her. The only thing Delhi keeps doing to me is that, she keeps surprising me.
People living in very small towns are fascinated by those who live in Delhi in the same way, as those who live in India and are fascinated by people living abroad. For them, they are the people living in "big city", earning "big bucks", wearing Nike, Mark & Spencer and Levis.
When I came to Delhi first, I was this young small-town girl, freshly out of school. Delhi was still building then, attracting millions of youth every year who came starry-eyed for a better future. I came too. It seems Delhi and I are getting old together, going through the same phases at the same time. After all these years, we are still "under-construction" . We share a lot and can understand each other like noone else does. Sometimes when I am too angry I punch her, when I am way too happy, I hug her. She, in return, does the same to me.
Tall buildings, wide roads, metro, 500 people cramped in space meant for 50, it was all new to me. Especially coming from a small town Dehradun, where maximum distance from your place would be 20 minutes scooty ride(Yes, we Indians measure distance in minutes and not miles). My sisters were already here, trying to carve a niche for themselves and I am proud to say today that they have done so well a job and inspired me too. The tryst did not last that long as I moved out in a year to the remotest area I could ever live in I guess, for four years to complete my B.Tech. But Dilli kept calling on and off in that span of time. After that I took up a job and made Delhi my base and ever since I have been in this love-hate relationship with her.
Delhi taught me life will not always be fair, but she also taught me that at that time you need to be hooked to your close ones and not loose them in the transition. She taught me to value relations that were important and discard those that were unwanted. I am not a very loud-spoken person by nature, but Delhi taught me that sometimes you have to shout at top of your lung to make your way, cause some people understand only in high decibels.
I was naive, she taught me to fight for my rights and my integrity. When I was being stared at by vulgar eyes or was being passed lewd comments, she taught me to yell back with greater intensity. She taught me that when the vendor says 800 for a kurta, give him 200. There is so much history in bylanes of Old Delhi, in the monuments in South Delhi that it makes you wonder, on what remains of history are you standing right now?
I wondered why my next door neighbour would not visit my home, why can't I leave my flat's key to the aunty living downstairs so that when my roommate comes she doesnt have to wait for me for an hour or why was aunty amazed when I asked her for a cup of sugar. Delhi scolds me all the time for not understanding such small stuff. I stand aghast when I hear news about rapes in Delhi or girl child being beaten brutally to death. Delhi stands aghast too. I question her that why she is muted then, she tells me to accept things as they are and move on.
On the other hand when I came here, she was already crowded but she just managed some space for me by squeezing others. She taught me to be independent, to be bold, to be formidable, to take no shit from anyone. Also taught me to show my teeth and my claws too.
I will not deny that I have not been homesick here, that I never wished that I was back home in the mountains, that I never wondered that why am I running everyday catching metro and buses and for what. I have been frustrated, exhausted, annoyed, almost cried. But then the next day when it rained or when I had a small chit chat with the rickshaw-wallah about his family and kids or when I'd see the colorful sky on independence day or when I'd play Holi with strangers in the opposite building or when I'd take a walk in one of those fancy gardens on a typical wintery Delhi morning or when I'd see any beautiful historical monument and read about its history, I would just sit back and wonder...This is amazing! This is Delhi! When I make my way through a crowded train, or when I buy those fancy clothes for me and my folks, I am so proud of myself. Every day, every moment!
Delhi doesn't belong to one community, it is a blend of so many cultures that is hard to choose a dish from so many in the menu. There are just two mainly spoken language- English and Hindi, not like other parts of India, which always have this one language which is French to the outsiders. Nobody is an outsider in Delhi but at the same time everyone is!
Delhi has a big heart..everyone is invited.
Aakhir Dilli hai Dilwalon ki! :)
