Here goes one more year. 2011! You will be remembered for a lot of things. 2010 was a weird year for me. I am still not able to decipher why things happened that happened that year. May be I will get to know as life unfolds. But 2011 was a nice year, especially the later half. Professional front is still uptight but when your personal life is satisfying and you are happy inside, these things don't matter much. On the other hand, if the personal life is screwed up, no matter how well you do on professional front, life still sucks.
One such thing was Bungee jumping. I am a case of Acrophobia, not an acute one but yeah it gets me shit scared. But I am glad to say that the adventure freak inside me has a bigger say in deciding things. So when my birthday was approaching this year, I had decided I had to do something new, something for the first time as a birthday present to myself. Bungee jumping was long due. So with a friend I was Rishikesh bound.
There I was, standing on that metal platform a week before my birthday. The whirling of the wind at that height of 83 meters could be heard distinctly, as if banging on my eardums and along with that the screeching of metals, the gurgling of water underneath and my heartbeats were creating some kindda jam session. The walk over the bridge to reach the platform was one of the toughest I had treaded in my life when I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing. I said to myself, "Chhavi, what kindda birthday gift are you giving to yourself. You will kill yourself, if not by hitting the ground then by a heart attack." And then in a few minutes, half of my feet were dangling in the air and other half on that iron platform. A voice was coming from behind... "Jump...whenever you are ready. 3...2...1...Bungee". A voice was coming from inside "Chhavi, you are mad to do this. But I know you can do it...Take the leap of faith." I said to the voice from behind, "I will fall." The voice said with a wink in his eye, "Well, yes, eventually you will." But I hesitated. He again said, "Whenever you are ready. 3...2..1..Bungee!"
And then I jumped, leaving all my fears behind. I had to have faith, in that rope that was tied to my legs, in that voice which asked me to jump, and above all in myself that I will make it. I did it and came out alive. The time when you just have to let go of yourself is the toughest time. And then when I had jumped, I didn't know if the ground is going to hit me first or I am going to hit it first. But that feeling is amazing and cannot be described in the words. But some words come in handy when you are airborne, for me they did cause I used so many swear words that people thought my rope may have broken.;) The blood gets shot up right to your face and it gives you all the more energy to shout out loud, as loud as you can. The experience is undescribable and I wouldn't even waste words in doing so. It will take out the thrill, the purity, the edginess of the moment. It is something that one should experience oneself.
Life throws stuff at you all the time. It is for you to decide when to take the leap. And when you do take the leap, it may seem at first that you are going to fall flat on the ground and will smash your face, but you need to remember that there is a rope that will always hold you and prevent you from falling and that rope is FAITH.
I won't say that the fear is gone now cause even when I think of how I jumped, it sends shivers down my spine but I am glad that I took the Leap of faith. I am very proud of myself... ;) Bungee jumping- Check!
If I have to define 2011 in one word then I would say, SATISFYING! It just seems yesterday when I was writing a blog on year 2010 and how the year had drained me emotionally and physically, and here I am writing about 2011. Time flies. This would be my last blog this year may be and with this I will strike one more task off my dayzero project -Write a blog for every month for a whole year (Can't believe I am actually pulling it off :D).
Honestly, I don't even remember what happened in first half of the year. I stressed hard to remember what all happened but nil. Recency effect may be. I guess it was all work, work, work and may be a bit of sulking on some issues of the previous year. But we "Move On"! It is a funny phrase, "move on". Is there really anything that exists called as moving on? It sounds like you trampled that part of your life and walked on it. I think we just "Move Away" from things, eventually. Anyway, second half, on the other hand, was eventful. I went traveling to some places (long time since I last went on vacation). A couple of my close friends got married (am already feeling old). I took some major steps in personal life (trying to find myself on the outside and not inside me), struck many things off my Todo list.
One such thing was Bungee jumping. I am a case of Acrophobia, not an acute one but yeah it gets me shit scared. But I am glad to say that the adventure freak inside me has a bigger say in deciding things. So when my birthday was approaching this year, I had decided I had to do something new, something for the first time as a birthday present to myself. Bungee jumping was long due. So with a friend I was Rishikesh bound.
There I was, standing on that metal platform a week before my birthday. The whirling of the wind at that height of 83 meters could be heard distinctly, as if banging on my eardums and along with that the screeching of metals, the gurgling of water underneath and my heartbeats were creating some kindda jam session. The walk over the bridge to reach the platform was one of the toughest I had treaded in my life when I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing. I said to myself, "Chhavi, what kindda birthday gift are you giving to yourself. You will kill yourself, if not by hitting the ground then by a heart attack." And then in a few minutes, half of my feet were dangling in the air and other half on that iron platform. A voice was coming from behind... "Jump...whenever you are ready. 3...2...1...Bungee". A voice was coming from inside "Chhavi, you are mad to do this. But I know you can do it...Take the leap of faith." I said to the voice from behind, "I will fall." The voice said with a wink in his eye, "Well, yes, eventually you will." But I hesitated. He again said, "Whenever you are ready. 3...2..1..Bungee!"
And then I jumped, leaving all my fears behind. I had to have faith, in that rope that was tied to my legs, in that voice which asked me to jump, and above all in myself that I will make it. I did it and came out alive. The time when you just have to let go of yourself is the toughest time. And then when I had jumped, I didn't know if the ground is going to hit me first or I am going to hit it first. But that feeling is amazing and cannot be described in the words. But some words come in handy when you are airborne, for me they did cause I used so many swear words that people thought my rope may have broken.;) The blood gets shot up right to your face and it gives you all the more energy to shout out loud, as loud as you can. The experience is undescribable and I wouldn't even waste words in doing so. It will take out the thrill, the purity, the edginess of the moment. It is something that one should experience oneself.
Life throws stuff at you all the time. It is for you to decide when to take the leap. And when you do take the leap, it may seem at first that you are going to fall flat on the ground and will smash your face, but you need to remember that there is a rope that will always hold you and prevent you from falling and that rope is FAITH.
I won't say that the fear is gone now cause even when I think of how I jumped, it sends shivers down my spine but I am glad that I took the Leap of faith. I am very proud of myself... ;) Bungee jumping- Check!
And as they said in How I met your mother:
http://fliiby.com/file/580779/mlz9fxbdtw.html
If the world doesn't end in 2012, then I am sure more things will be done so that there are more stories to be told. Waiting for you eagerly, 2012!
"Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith."- Margaret Shepard
http://fliiby.com/file/580779/mlz9fxbdtw.html
If the world doesn't end in 2012, then I am sure more things will be done so that there are more stories to be told. Waiting for you eagerly, 2012!
"Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith."- Margaret Shepard
5 comments:
means to meaning.
“expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” Jim Morrison
I guess I am free now!
why guess?
or you have discovered a new one to challenge and expose your self to, already (i like this part).
more power to you :)
I said guess cause even now when i think of that moment when i had to jump, it sends shivers down my spine. Only i know how collected the courage to take the leap.
And yea...there are many more things to do,now that i am past this one. :) May the force be with us!
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